This is completely and utterly insane. I can't deny it anymore. I have tried so much over the past two weeks to talk my heart out of this. He's given me more than enough reasons to run and never look back. Yet here I am. I knew I was going to love him the second I saw his picture on the dating site. Have I mentioned how absurd this all sounds to me?! I was always the one discrediting the whole "love at first site" thing. No, I'd say, that's called lust, not love. I just rolled my eyes when TJ said that's how it was for him when he first saw me in tenth grade. Impossible. Well, I'll be damned. I was wrong. Completely wrong.
It's been fourteen days exactly since we first started talking. How is this possible? It's terrifying. Never have I ever experienced such strong emotions for someone that I just started talking to two weeks ago. I feel like I've been waiting for him for my whole life and just didn't know it. Two weeks has felt like forever but yet not long enough. We still haven't met in person (despite my many best efforts) but I know deep in my heart that everything is going to make perfect sense when we do. I can't explain any of this.
Today I read an article about how you only will love three people in your life. I'll link the article here
Basically, your first love (Joseph for me) is the idealistic and innocent or puppy love. Your second love (T.J.) is the more complicated love. The one where you break up and get back together over and over in a vicious cycle thinking it will change. (FYI - it doesn't) It says one day you will give up on that one completely at some point and it will end in heartbreak but will make you stronger. The third love is your final love. It's the one that you never see coming and comes when you least expect it. It says it comes so easily that it seems impossible and it just feels right. Bingo! That article is what made me finally admit to myself what I've been trying to talk my heart out of for the past two weeks. I'm already in love with him. Wholeheartedly, in it for the long haul, put in the work to build a solid foundation, in love. Crap.
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